12 Rules For Life: An Antidote to Chaos
By Jordan Peterson
12 Rules for Life is an approachable treatise on best strategies for living a productive life. As the subtitle suggests, avoiding chaos and finding a rhythm, is the trick. Peterson helps readers understand where to begin with 12 simple rules. Purchase the book here.
Rule 1 – Stand Straight with Your Shoulders Back
The first rule is not just about posture, but it’s an attitude of strength and confidence. When someone is confident, he or she naturally stands up straight. Present yourself as confident by standing tall.
The trick is gaining a level of competence so you can present yourself to the world as someone with value. It takes courage and confidence to stand straight with your shoulders back, but it pays significant dividends. Not only will the world receive you better, but it creates serotonin in your body, which in turn stimulates happiness and well-being.
Rule 2 – Treat Yourself Like Someone You are Responsible for Helping
Most people are more likely to help a pet, child, or neighbor, than themselves. This oddity stems from deep rooted knowledge of your own shortcomings. The first step to healthy living and overcoming challenges in life is learning to take responsibility for helping ourselves.
To do this, we must establish values that guide our lives, and that will help direct us to take care of ourselves – emotionally and physically. We have a moral responsibility to take care of ourselves, which in turn will help us make meaningful contributions to the world.
Rule 3 – Make Friends Who Want the Best for You
Everyone makes choices throughout their lives, and one of the trickiest is deciding our friends. Finding friends who care about our well-being and success can be an invaluable support. It’s okay to ditch those who are not supportive, who are toxic, or those who have unhealthy behaviors.
This rule also requires each of us to be good friends – to be supportive, positive, and encouraging. By cultivating supportive relationships, we are able better able to find happiness and personal fulfillment.
Rule 4 – Compare Yourself with Who You Were Yesterday, Not with Who Someone Else is Today
Comparison is the thief of joy. This type of slogan is usually blasted prominently in yoga studios and inspirational memes, but for good reason: it’s true. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we should focus on improving ourselves.
Jealously and feeling inadequate can hinder our own health and development. Peterson encourages us to stay focused on our own journeys without the distraction of comparing ourselves to others. Set goals and benchmarks for personal improvement and strive to achieve them.
Rule 5 – Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything That makes You Dislike Them
If you dislike your children or something they do, you have failed as a parent. Not liking your children will affect their brain development and socialization skills. Parenting is not easy, but there are strategies for success.
Here are some of the points Peterson makes:
- Set boundaries. Everyone needs boundaries, especially children and teens.
- Instill discipline.
- Love them.
- Teach them the ways of the world.
Rule 6 – Set Your House in Perfect Order Before You criticize the World
Don’t blame the world for your problems, focus on yourself first. Prioritize improvements you can make in your own life. You will never be perfect, and that’s okay, so you never have a license to armchair quarterback another person’s life.
Rule 7 – Pursue What is Meaningful (not what is expedient)
Seeking happiness is not necessarily fulfilling. Short term pleasure isn’t the key to life. When you seek short term pleasure, you are robbing your future. Drugs and alcohol, for example, are fun but lead to a hangover and regretful decisions.
Spend your time on meaningful pursuits. Helping your children with homework isn’t fun, but it’s meaningful. Your work isn’t fun, but it’s meaningful. Both come with great rewards. If you did not do these two things, your life would be miserable. Spend your time on things that are meaningful, and deeply rewarding.
Rule 8 – Tell the Truth – or Least Don’t Lie
Lying creates confusion. Conversely, telling the truth is necessary for healthy relationships, personal growth, and societal harmony. It’s not always easy telling the truth. It requires courage, but doing so build trust and authenticity.
Dishonesty spins webs of deception, chaos, and confusion. The hardest part of telling the truth is being honest with yourself – if you are not, then you create confusion and chaos in your own mind, which can manifest in many ways.
Rule 9 – Assume the Person You Are Listening to Might Know Something You Don’t
Don’t interrupt or dismiss other viewpoints, especially when we think we know the answers. Each person has unique experiences, and something we can learn. Peterson is not arguing we should abandon reason and logic as we listen to others. What he is saying is this: Approach conversations with curiosity and a willingness to learn.
Rule 10 – Be Precise In Your Speech
Imprecise speech leads to misunderstandings. Precise speech gives everyone a reference point and direct understanding. Don’t leave the communication up to interpretation when you can eliminate ambiguity by speaking precisely.
Rule 11 – Do Not Bother Children When They are Skateboarding
Let kids be kids when they are experimenting with the world – climbing trees, riding bikes, fighting with other kids, or setting up a lemonade stand.
If it might cause irreparable harm, intervene. If it’s not hateful or likely to cause massive damage physically or emotionally, let them figure it out. It’s how they learn, gain resiliency, and figure out the world.
Rule 12 – Pet a Cat When You Encounter One on the Street
Lastly, Peterson gives us a catch-all based on his personal experiences.
Remember to live in the moment. Look for good in the world. Appreciate the small things in life – like petting a dog (or a cat). When faced with a significant problem, focus on one step at a time. Don’t think about what’s happening in 3 months, think about what you are doing in the next few minutes. When you are handed something good, stand straight and take it.
Life is full of challenges, and sometimes true hardship is unavoidable. How an individual reacts, determines the outcome. We all suffer, the question is how you react. Do you withdraw? Or do you stand up to the challenge, persevere, and find meaning? Peterson’s 12 Rules can help anyone learn to deal with life’s difficulties, both big and small.
If you enjoy this review, you might also like “When Character Was King.”