Wild at Heart by John Eldrige
As the subtitle suggests, Wild at Heart is about more than adventure. It’s about “discovering the secret to a man’s soul” by understanding men.
A Book for Women, Too
In Wild at Heart, John Eldridge argues:
“There are three desires I find written so deeply into my heart I know now I can no longer disregard them without losing my soul… in the heart of every man is a desperate desire for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to love.”
A women who doesn’t understand this, will never understand her husband, dad, sons, or brothers. She’ll misunderstand half the people on the planet as she mis-navigates herself through life. And if a man fails to understand what it means to be a man, then he’ll become either pitiful or dangerous, and both are unacceptable outcomes.
A Talented Communicator
Eldredge communicates what most men don’t, which is men need spaces to engage in manly pursuits. As he writes,
“A man needs to feel the rhythms of the earth; he needs to have in hand something real – the tiller of a boat, set of reins, the roughness of rope, or simply a shovel. Can a man live all his days to keep his fingernails clean and trim? Is that what a boy dreams of.”
Nobody dreams of sitting in air-condition at a desk or analyzing data or talking on the phone for a living – lawyer, accountant, engineer, architect, salesman, etc. We can do those things to support ourselves and our families, but there has to be more, much more.
In one chapter, Eldredge takes head on the question every man must ask: “Do I have what it takes?” It may seem silly, but look around and you can tell which men do and which men turn away. As the book argues, “A man is fierce, passionate, and wild at heart? You wouldn’t know it from what normally walks around in a pair of trousers. If a man is the image of the Lion of Judah, how come there are so many lonely women, so many fatherless children, so few men around?” He continues, “Without a great battle in which a man can live and die, the fierce part of his nature goes underground and sort of simmers there in a sullen anger that seems to have no reason.” In other words, a man who is not exercising his true heart will act out – he picks fights, chases women, becomes captive to porn, or gripped with showing off his material things.
Do Men Matter?
The central point of Wild at Heart is that our society no longer values men. “Our society produces plenty of boys, but very few men. There are two simple reasons: we don’t know how to initiate boys into men; and second, we’re not sure we really want to. We want to socialize them, to be sure, but away from all that is fierce, and wild, and passionate.”
The entire breakdown of the family structure is causing boys massive problems, which in turn are societal issues for everyone.
Masculinity should be bestowed by father to son, Eldredge observes. It can’t be done by a mom or a woman. In Eldredge’s words, “father would lay the foundation for the young boy’s heart, and pass on to him that essential knowledge and confidence in his strength. Dad would be the first man in his life, and forever the most important man.”
Its central aim is golden: Let’s reclaim masculinity and make it a force for good again. Each year we need good men more and more as society tries to neuter the men and re-shape us into something we are not. “Your masculine journey is the central mission of your life; everything else depends on your success here.” Hunting weekends or a camping trip into the wilderness may be more than an excuse to skip out on chores. It might actually help nurture the soul. It’s time to let men be men, again.
You can purchase the book here and be sure to check out our other reviews.